Jehovah's Witnesses ONLY: possible that i am just not cut out for the truth? so is my life meaningless?

The fact that is bothers you that you feel the way you do is proof that you care. If you believe that Jehovah is the truth then you should do everything that you can to not let Satan win. You are having issues with God himself, so you should go to him in prayer, even if you feel unworthy. Satan wants you to feel unworthy and that you can't approach Jehovah, that he how he draws so many people away. Jehovah has given us the priviledge of prayer because without it how can we believe in anything??? Pour your heart out to him, the good and the bad. He will help you! Speak with other witnesses and study the Bible earnestly. If you are sincere in doing this then you will have peace, Jehovah promises that!